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For Sale 2001 Ford F-250

OK, let me start off by saying this Ford F-250 is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Ford F-250 would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. Truck is a 2nd owner clean carfax and well maintained. Blue with tan leather interior and grey bedliner.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now.

I mean it.

Just stop.

Ford contracted with ex Green Beret and Navy Seals secluded in a fortress somewhere in the Rocky Mountains to engineer this machine. They designed it to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous ‘nancy’ boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this 4X4 brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 7.3 liter POWERSTROKE diesel pushing (depending on the superchip setting you select) 365 Horse Power and 300 pounds of torque through a 5 inch exhaust, 35 inch Goodrich A/T tires (less than 3,000 miles on the tires) with 6 inch lift. Outrun the cops? Hell, just run OVER the them..then go and hook a chain to their station and drag it through town.

I have maintained it with Amsoil products for the 8 years I have owned the truck, I even have a dual bypass filter installed and take regular samples to test oil. Amsoil Series 3000 specially made for diesels, amsoil antifreeze, Amsoil differential fluids, amsoil transmission fluids, the works, higher capacity differential cover installed. I even put in fuel injector cleaner every fill up. All fluids were just changed out at 125K miles. The batteries, belts and alternator were replaced at 125k

It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it?
• A pint of whiskey,
• a stitch-your-own-wound kit
• and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself.

The Ford F-250 also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once. I have a complete book of receipts and maintenance records and missions logged. The alarm gives you piece of mind (the D.O.T made me disconnect the dynamite but the audible alarm is sufficient) and the remote start lets you crank him up to heat or cool the truck inside while you are ambling across the parking lot like John Wayne.
I put in a 2006 center console =because I liked it better and it could hold both my .44 magnums and all the ammo.
It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull a Howitzer into the hills of Afghanistan and take out the Taliban for good. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out on my last mission.
Stereo is terrific and should be since the receipts total over $3,000, Alpine head unit with ipod connections, Sony 12 disc changer, Fosgate and Xtreme amps pushing polk and punch speakers. Custom speaker box is under the back seat, but still leaves room for a couple of shotguns under there too.
Superchip tuner installed with settings for performance, economy, pulling over 6,000 pounds, pulling under 6,ooo pounds and factory setting. I have a bunch of pictures I can send you or come see it yourself. If you have been looking for a 7.3 liter diesel, I doubt you will find nicer, better maintained or battle tested than this one. Give me a shout at four zero four six nine four nine eight three eight.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $17,250 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab.
Would it hurt?

Hell yeah.

Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 131,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass.
Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my pet alligator, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a shot of Wild Turkey while we listen to Johnny Cash.

Rock on.

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Originally posted by Dick Dubbs:
Sounds like a weak willy......